Nothing Really Matters

I’m sitting in the middle of Holy Week wondering “what is the point?” Why are we remembering and re-enlivening this part of Jesus’ story? I was struggling to grasp a concrete reason. I could, of course, share a Sunday School answer…

“To remember God came to earth and died like we do.”

“To remember what forces killed our embodied God, that we may stop those forces of evil.” (empire, the Roman Empire killed Jesus- just for the record. Men hungry for power, lacking in beliefs that truly defined their actions. empire.)

“Jesus was a sacrificial lamb.”

I could give you these answers, I do believe some of them but I’m sitting in a world that seems largely unchanged in its rejection of empire, evil and greed and wondering what was the point?

Hevel of hevel, says Qoheleth (the teacher), hevel of hevel! All is hevel. - Eccl 1:2

The more I learn about the bible, the more representation of diverse human experience I’ve found. Most pastors won’t ever choose to preach from most of Ecclesiastes (also called Qoheleth). The whole book questions the point of life, calling nearly all of human experience hevel.

Hevel, is one of those words that doesn’t translate well into English. One of my professors, who literally wrote the book on this book of the bible, describes how this word is translated as “vapor, breath, vanity, futle…” and even more. (her book is referenced at the end of this post)

The ESV translates it vanity.

NIV translation says meaningless.

NASB translates it as futility.

The general feeling and meaning is clear, in the words of Freddie Mercury - “nothing really matters to meeeeee….”

The book of ecclesiastics echoes something that I certainly relate to this semester. What am I even doing here? Why did I do this?

I’m tired. I’m tired of being in between, expected to be both educated and an expert but also still pedagogy. I’m tired of homework that I don’t find interesting… I’m looking at you Methodist History and Polity. I’m tired of bouncing from one thing to the next feeling like I’m not going anywhere, or at least not clear on where I’m going.

I think this is a common feeling that anyone who keeps a regular job has related to. So what wisdom does the teacher Qoeheleth have for us?

“He who increases in knowledge increases sorrow.” - Eccl 1:18

This isn’t looking promising…

My professor, who literally wrote the commentary on this book of the bible, brings some interesting conversation partners into her commentary. Perhaps they’ll be helpful in my searching for meaning from within ennui? Maybe this has meaning for the mission and vision of why the church exists? It is hard for me to find vocational meaning without seeing why the vocation to which I’m called exists. Dr. Wolfe brings into her examination of Qoheleth, Phyllis Tickle’s book called “Emmergence Christianity.” Tickle identified a cyclical pattern of emergence in regard to church reformation and revival. Which certainly echos the waves of life, which Qoheleth speaks of futility in fighting.

I seek to engage selections of Qoheleth in a narrative exegesis. This is not sermonic; I engage in too large a breadth of scripture. I probably won’t make one point. I will doubtfully make connections to anything that is actionable. I am probably fabricating this as a valid form of examining scripture, but within the wisdom of these chapters in Qoheleth, it is all fleeting as breath, so I shall proceed.

Contrasted in eccleastes are two words, tov and hevel. Tov is desirable, hevel seems to be what most things are, but is not desirable. Seeking hevel in this text is straightforward. Seeking tov involves riddles and reading between the lines.

Assuming that Tickle’s proposition of church yard sales, where the things that are to remain will remain, sometimes at a discount, and the broken aspects and items will be thrown out in the same church yard sale, how can Qoheleth lend us the futility of wisdom to our current time?

I, the Teacher, when King of Israel in Jerusalem, applied my mind to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven; it is an unhappy business that God has given to human beings to be busy with. (Qoh 1:12-13) (Wolfe 2020, 24:13)

Personally, having emerged over the halfway hump of a master's degree, I feel deeply, the unhappy business of the busy work to which I have been called. What is being asked of me by the United Methodist Church is absurd. Working leading two churches while being enrolled full-time in a master’s program, which will take me nearly as much time as my entire undergraduate degree – those two demands alone are enough. I am additionally bound to the cycles of life, eating, sleeping, laundry, bearing children, preparing food, raising children, laundry, driving to swim lessons, laundry… I digress. I don’t even do the laundry and it is overwhelming!

This, all of this, is too much. Any one of these things is plenty of occupation. Vocation. Plenty of vocation. I feel the same emotions from the text, the seeking out and doing all that is done under heaven in my bones. I feel that the weight could be an unhappy business. The teacher in Qoheleth names all these deeds done under the sun, as a vanity, like chasing after the wind.

What is the alternative though? I’m sure I am supposed to be engaging in this madness. I’m sure that all this effort will, eventually, lead somewhere. Right? Yes. (Yes, of course, she whispers to herself.)

In the text teacher goes on to enlighten my internal dialogue, “I applied my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is a chasing after wind.”(Wolfe 2020, 24:13)

So doing all this work may be folly.

Not doing all this work may also be folly.

Is that liberating?

It feels like it should be.

It also feels like it’s really not.

What is the qualifier on seeking knowledge that brings all of what are the blessings of wisdom elsewhere in scripture?

What on earth does this have to do with living out my call?

What on earth and heaven does this have to do with why the church exists?

What is the church supposed to be doing if all is hevel? What am I supposed to be doing?

The United Methodist Church has articulated its mission as “Making disciples for the transformation of the world.”

What difference do disciples make?

How are they impactful?

How are they supposed to change the world?

If the wisdom of their work is hevel, if all the human things they do in their work is hevel?

Does this teacher say anything isn’t hevel?

The Qoheleth says, “There is an evil that I have seen under the sun…” (Qoh 6:1). Qoheleth goes on to describe not being able to enjoy blessings, material items, and the very purposes of one’s life.

Qoheleth contrasts what is evil, with some things that are good or tov:

“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning.” (Qoh 7:4)

“Oppression makes the wise foolish.” (7:7)

“Wisdom is as good as an inheritance.” (Qoh 7:11)

“The protection of wisdom is like the protection of money.” (Qoh 7:12)

The lack of enjoyment, the fear of losing, and the frailty of blessing the fleeing enjoyment of growth are contrasted with the heaviness and prevalence of grief.

The items that Qoheleth names as tov all can speak into church and personal purpose.

Feelings are valid; the entire book nods to feelings of futility and magnitude in a daunting task are valid – mourning the impossible is like mourning the dead.

No matter what blessings one possesses, engaging in oppression removes all entitlement to the enjoyment of those blessings.

Wisdom is as good as an inheritance – perhaps wisdom is the inheritance of the children of God?

Those who belong to the household of God?

Protecting your wisdom, not sharing it, not proclaiming it, is the same as protecting money – futile.

Is this a validation to the work of Qoheleth?: “Even though this may all be futile, there is wisdom in sharing these emotions.”

So what should be kept in Tickle’s church yard sale?

• Lament?

  • Communal lament?

    • Mourning what could have been?

      • Moreso than counting blessings?

      • In conjunction with counting?

• Proclamation?

  • Sharing of experiences?

  • Sharing the stories of God?

    • To what end?

      • Perhaps sharing with no end in mind?

      • Sharing for the purpose of sharing, leaving the futility of human objectives to futility?

• Eliminating Oppression?

  • This one may be the most clear - eliminating oppression is tov.

In my evangelism class last semester, we spent most of the time focusing on “church growth.” This was bothersome to me for a few reasons. The books were all written by white men who expounded how life-changing these approaches could be to the life of the church, but they were written in the 1980s and 1990s. So we sort of have empirical data that these strategies didn’t work.

They were futile.

Why am I learning them?

For the sake of futility?

If that’s not those things to focus on, then what?

I don’t think asking that question is futile. I see space in the concreteness of that failure that is liberating. If that didn’t work, what will? What won’t? Does it matter if it works? What does “works” look like?

I can see how attempting to measure “what works” would fall into the same category of foolishness as attempting to catch vapors in my hands.

In these first chapters of Qoheleth, I can see a lot of wisdom.

Perhaps the wisdom of irreverence?

Wisdom that comes from not holding reverent anything besides what matters. Psalms 111 tells us in so many words that “reverence to God is the beginning of Wisdom.”

Is Qoheleth saying the same in omitting most mention of the divine? Saying, “Here’s all the places where God isn’t; now go look in, not those places.”

These are theological questions.

What will I keep in my halfway through seminary, thoroughly developing irreverence personal yard sale?

Relationships can be vulnerable and full of emotion.

A clear mind and eyes open to seeing, recognizing, lamenting, and proclaiming when I see oppression.

The same goes for calling out futility; a particularly irreverent string of curses is more what I will hold in mind, but I’ll refrain from sharing that.

Continuing to hear and speak the stories of God.

These things shall I hold onto.

These may serve me well all my days, these may be in the next yard sale. To Qoheleth, they all may be futile, but so is everything else, I’ll just have to find out in the next cycle of life.

If you are looking for a place in the bible that gets real with human emotions, drop me a message. I can point you to some people in scripture who may have felt the same.

Feeling like God is punishing you? There’s a book for that.

Feeling like the powers of the world are too much and that may never change? There are actually a few books for that.

Want to curse your STD while God listens? There’s Psalms for that.

The Bible is full of human experiences - which is why your human experience matters. Don’t let anyone cheapen your experience or the experiences of the very real people who tell the story of God in this sacred text. It’s deep and full of emotion - not cheapened by toxic positivity or false hopes.

Tickle, Phyllis. 2012. Emergence Christianity: What It Is, Where It Is Going, and Why It Matters. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books.

Wolfe, Lisa Michele. 2020. Qoheleth (Ecclesiastes). Edited by Athalya Brenner-Idan. Vol. 24. Wisdom Commentary. Collegeville, Minnesota: Liturgical Press.