When in doubt
Scripture: Matthew 14:22-33 - Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Right then, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead to the other side of the lake while he dismissed the crowds.
23 When he sent them away, he went up onto a mountain by himself to pray. Evening came and he was alone.
24 Meanwhile, the boat, fighting a strong headwind, was being battered by the waves and was already far away from land.
25 Very early in the morning he came to his disciples, walking on the lake.
26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified and said, “It’s a ghost!” They were so frightened they screamed.
27 Just then Jesus spoke to them, “Be encouraged! It’s me. Don’t be afraid.”
28 Peter replied, “Lord, if it’s you, order me to come to you on the water.”
29 And Jesus said, “Come.”
Then Peter got out of the boat and was walking on the water toward Jesus.
30 But when Peter saw the strong wind, he became frightened. As he began to sink, he shouted, “Lord, rescue me!”
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him, saying, “You man of weak faith! Why did you begin to have doubts?”
32 When they got into the boat, the wind settled down.
33 Then those in the boat worshipped Jesus and said, “You must be God’s Son!”
Matthew goes to lengths to show his audience,
his congregation and community, and us that Jesus is the Messiah.
Matthew seems to methodically go through every single prophecy of the Messiah
and spell out how Jesus fits as the promised Messiah.
For Matthew,
Jesus being the fulfillment of God’s promises to God’s people is important.
Matthew spells out Jesus’ lineage from King David,
“a sprout from the stump of David.”
In the miracles Jesus performs,
Matthew deliberately makes references that point us back to prophecy
and wisdom about the promises and presence of God,
urging us to make the connection that Jesus is the Messiah,
the promised one.
In our text,
Jesus stayed behind to pray
and mourn the loss of his cousin John the Baptist
who had recently been beheaded by King Herod.
Jesus sent the disciples away, probably to ensure himself some solitude.
Jesus gets his time in prayer and it’s late into the night.
The disciples experience what the Greek translates to as “contrary wind.”
This Lake of Galilee was known for its violent storms
that would quickly develop
and quickly dissipate without warning.
Jesus had called four of these disciples on the boat, while they were fishing.
They knew the water, knew how to operate a boat, and crossing the sea was familiar.
These disciples had experienced a storm on this sea before.
Maybe because they had experience in this before,
they thought they could handle it, and then,
after hours of battering by choppy waves and trying to sail into the wind,
they were tired.
Not close to shore,
not close to where they came from or where they needed to go.
They look up
and see a man walking on water,
in spite of wind and waves and physics.
Their first thoughts were this is a ghost.
Peter, ever the gregarious, calls out to the ghost and Jesus answers, “Do not be afraid, it is I.”
Peter, of course in disbelief, nearly leaping out of the boat says,
“Lord, if it’s you, order me to come to you on the water.”
Jesus invites him and Peter comes,
his enthusiasm overriding his logic,
and walks on water,
with his eyes firmly fixed on one thing, Jesus.
Then… Peter’s brain catches up to his body,
he is smacked with the wind and waves and laws of physics,
and he sinks.
He cries out, “help me,”
and Jesus, his friend,
reaches back and lifts him,
out of the waves,
out of the wind
and into a world where not even the laws of space
and time and density can constrain the works of God.
Jesus, ever sure of who he was
and what his mission was,
may not have fully understood
the personal crisis that Peter had undergone
in these few seconds,
but with compassion, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
As if to say, “Of course, I’ll rescue you. There’s no need to doubt me.”
So many times I’ve heard this story,
Peter sort of gets a bad rap.
But I relate to Peter.
I relate to his emotional responses;
I relate to his impulsivity and enthusiasm.
I relate to all the times Peter has to be humbled to get the point.
I relate to Peter’s doubts.
Bryan McLaren has a book called Faith After Doubt.
In this book, he explains that doubt is not necessarily a lack of faith
But a symptom of faith growth.
He says:
“ Faith before doubt: it’s about correct beliefs. Faith after doubt: it's about revolutionary love.”
He describes that revolutionary love looks like “loving with God – letting divine love fill us and flow through us” – the results of this are “loving without discrimination or limit, as an expression of the heart of the lover (God in us), not the merit of the beloved.”
When I was working in children’s ministry,
one of my responsibilities was coordinating and leading chapel for preschoolers.
I loved this part of my job. The teachers would bring their classes up and we would sing and dance and pray. I found this really great program that would pay us to try out these body prayers. Which is just moving your body as you pray. I applied for the program and was accepted and we tried out the first week.
The kids seemed to love it!
Later that day, a few of the teachers came up and expressed concern that the movements were yoga. They were concerned because in their belief practice,
They saw yoga as something that was against their Christian faith.
This is not the commonly held belief among the United Methodist Church
So I was a little surprised by this.
My first thought was actually less kind.
Sometimes it felt like these teachers liked to make my life harder.
But there was some small spark of wisdom
that was most assuredly not mine that popped into my head
Instead of arguing with them, trying to be right,
I instead was given the genuine compassion driven by wisdom to say:
“that is not how the Spirit has convicted me,
But the Spirit moves how the Spirit will
and if that is how you are convicted,
I absolutely respect that.
Let’s talk about some ways that you may feel more comfortable doing these prayers.”
And we did.
I was able to assure them that I was not leading them in yoga
and we were able to work together
to come up with something that was good for all of us.
I genuinely take zero credit for this
the entire time it felt like I had a hand over my mouth
and that I was speaking someone else’s words.
But in reflection,
I felt like at that moment,
when I was annoyed,
feeling like their concerns were a little absurd,
instead love stepped in. Not my love, God’s love.
And that wisdom that showed up there
is something that I have been able to plant in my heart
and nurture.
I think of that time as loving with God’s love
and not mine that was annoyance-tainted.
Bryan McLaren’s wisdom about the sanctity of doubt. Speaks to Peter in this story.
Peter has a moment of faith – immense faith
In that moment, seeds of wisdom and Love are planted by the Spirit in his life
When he doubts, he is rescued by Jesus
In this moment, Peter sees Jesus in a new light.
Next week, we will get confirmation about how Peter sees Jesus.
Peter sees the power of doubt – that his faith practice before doubt was “right beliefs”
His faith after doubt – here in this moment,
It is growing into revolutionary love.
The Gospel writer Matthew wants us to see what Peter sees
for the first time, here in this story,
that Jesus is more than a prophet, more than a rabbi.
Peter and his fellow disciples on the boat worship saying to Jesus
“You must be God’s Son!”
Peter’s faith after doubt will lead him into
Discerning that Jesus is the Messiah
Peter’s journey in nurturing his faith after doubt with Jesus is discipleship
Discipleship that will teach him the meaning of revolutionary love
